so here i am at 8.5 months:

i weight 138 lbs. which means i’ve gained almost 30 lbs. since i got pregnant. they’ve increased the number of times i have to get my NST since they want to closely monitor her heartbeat and the placenta, just to make sure she’s getting enough oxygen, and that the fluid around her is sufficient.

she’s 4 lbs. now, which is good since she can survive at that weight if ever she ceases to grow and i need to be induced to giving birth. Although she is of low birth weight, there have been many successful cases where a 4 lb. baby has been delivered, so i am not worried.

when i go to my checkups and ultrasounds, her heartbeat is always steady, and to see her heartbeat is so amazing because i know she’s being well taken care of in there. Not only does she function, but i know she has a lovely personality already. She knows when to make a scene, and when to be shy. She knows when i’m resting and when she needs attention.

the 2x a week hospital visits are inconvient right now because now i have to stay in SJ, which means perze has to be alone in Budd Lake on some nights. I’m not very use to this anymore, and when it happens, i cannot sleep easily anymore. Plus, the days perze weren’t with me were the days Emma’s heartbeat was ranging a bit lower than usual.

it’ll take some adjustment, but everything should turn out ok…in a month, i’ll get to see her face…and her bum…hahaha…

“little star, how i wonder what you are…”

Friendliness Helps: When you’re new to the pregnancy scene, you’ll find yourself having to deal with a lot of medical people- those who you have to build a comfort and trust with, since you’ll be literally baring yourself to them. All the Expectant Mother books and magazines always commence your pregnancy journey by advising that you find an OB/GYN who you can be very comfortable around with, someone who will be friendly enough to give you time and care, and will take you step by step your 40 weeks, with a caring staff who’ll answer your questions and provide your needs.

i’ve been really blessed to have not had to shop around, since the ladies of the place i go to for check ups exude friendliness, esp. the doctors that i have to regularly see. They’re not stoic nor condescending, but they realize how inexperienced I am to the whole thing, and reassure me about proceedures and concerns.

Note to self: send gift basket to ladies at Plaza 4.

i look outside the balcony window and see the tree that first had pink blossoms clingling to the branches the first time we moved in. Now the blossoms have matured into white flowers that daily fall off their temporary home. The wind makes them dance a while before hitting the ground. It looks beautiful from inside, from our newly moved in apartment, sitting on our assembled neutral colored futon adorned with feminine cream and old rose pillows.

i imagine myself, a young mother, holding a tiny baby girl under the shade, with her soft hair being softly caressed by God’s breath. And although she may not know what she’s thinking, she smiles by design, because there’s a feeling of love, a feeling she may not entirely know of and understand, but she feels it nonetheless. it’s the same feeling she gets when her dad tickles her toes and nubs her nose and picks her up when she cries.

i know bad times will come, and scenes aren’t always so beautiful, but for now, this is what i imagine when i look outside our balcony window.

listening to: You Made me Love YouF
Crystal Gayle

as much as i love having emma kicking at me, and i can see my stomach every now and then pulsing with her movements, there are some negatives to pregnancy, esp. during the 3rd trimester:

1. lower back pain
2. sleeping discomfort, difficulty in turning and rolling
3. forget sleeping on your stomach for a while
4. trouble bending (limits cleaning, putting on shoes, socks, pants)
5. having to wear bottoms
6. sweet tooth kicking in
7. having your heels hurt even from a short stroll
8. not feeling all together glamorous
9. seeing how much you’ve physically changed, knowing you’ve gained 25+ lbs.
10. needing to crave water every 20 minutes, then needing to pee every 15…
11. needing to pee every 15 min.
12. being told not to carry things, knowing you can’t carry heavy things anymore although you know you’re stronger than linda carter
13. people constantly asking you when you’re due
14. people staring at you, with their eyes gradually travelling down to gaze at your stomach
15. stretchmarks
16. having trouble getting up from sitting, getting out of the car, getting out of bed
17. not being able to run, play with the kids, rollerblade, other fun outside activities
18. bathing suits
19. having temperature swings, feeling hotflashes, short breaths
20. being drawn to the TLC channel and Birth Stories
21. spending lots of time researching baby gear
22. spending lots of money buying baby gear
23. limiting coffee
24. not being able to work, putting your other goals on hold
25. making sure you’re ready, read up, for when she comes out and she’s all yours, your responsibility, knowing her dependency is all on you.

she’s kicking me as i write this entry. she’s very fiesty this morning for some reason.

yesterday was my first unofficial mother’s day. although she is not fully outside of my stomach, i still consider myself a mom, only because my mindset has been conclusively programmed already on protection and provision mode for this little one inside me.

it was sweet how my siblings gave me a card during our family cabin trip this weekend, and although i had missed the mother’s day program that our church celebrates annually, the youth gave me a special cell call to greet me.

i was able to go to my OB/GYN last week, as well as perform the NST and ultrasound for Emma/Noe, and the results were positive. My doctor gave me sensational news that relieved our worries of her low weight from my previous exam. From 1.16 lbs, she is now a healthy 3.4 lbs. with 1.5 months to go. Research says that babies experience the biggest growth spurt the remaining 2 months so by the time i give birth, emma will hopefully have grown to her full weight of a normal 6lbs or a little less. the doctor assumes that since i am of small frame, our baby will also be small, which is something the eases me, since delivering a bigger baby can result with higher complications.

but the Nonstress tests have been very positive. Her heartbeat is consistently within the normal range, and her activity supports her healthy state. I also get an ultrasound every 3 weeks to continue to monitor her growth, and by next month, i should be able to visit my doctor on a weekly regular schedule.

the weeks after 25 weeks seem as if they’ve passed so quickly, and now i have almost just a month until i see this love that God gave to Perze and I. She will be like me and like him, yet all too well her own person.

She is amazing to me.

after days of packing and moving and moving and unpacking, perze and i have tasted our first days and nights in solitude in our first apartment.

it’s almost a year since our wedding (0619) and we’ve kept our word to save. Now with a baby at 8months on the way, we’re slowly building a nest, and so far, the nest we’ve chosen has been a blessing.

It’s a one bedroom, with den, and fulfills our current needs with spacious room for the two of us, and our expectant angel critter, who we hope will enjoy the place just as much as we do. We’ve been blessed to have lots of nice stores in such close proximity, plus all the major highways outside the development. Also, our surroundings are uncluttered and many new buildings/stores are currently being built or is already new. Everything looks uncluttered, and the view from our balcony is incomparable to the rest of the other apartments we’ve seen.

We were supposed to have our cable/internet installed next week since we couldn’t keep our initial appointment last saturday, but due to perze’s persistence, someone cancelled their appointment and we were able to take that free spot, so today is the first day we’re able to get back in touch with the world via TV/Internet. Watching FOX every time you turn on the tv isn’t the most entertaining.

the hardest task for me- for marchesa, believe it or not is finding out what to cook each night. Not just deciding on what to cook, but actually cooking something worth eating. The first night was great- spaghetti- who doesn’t love spaghetti? It’s easier to cook than it is to spell. It was gone by lunch today.

the weather hasn’t been cooperating though. it seems as if the temperature has reverted back into its old wintery ways, and it’s cloudy and a tad chilly. hopefully it’ll pick up and i may be able to do some pilates with the sun and some music.

as this blog closes, i do have to thank my family for being so helpful and excited and supportive. My brother took a lot of effort to get us a UHaul (unreliable), and i could only imagine all the carrying…and since i’m in the 8th month, carrying a baby (and an elephant), i’m restricted to only eating and farting, so basically, i couldn’t exert too much push and pull.

lastly, i have to give the biggest ups to my husband, perze, who has been strong through all this. i have no problem trusting this man when it comes to life. i love you mahal. i am very excited for us.