we sing songs and pray prayers for God to break our hearts to the things that break his. but with things like this, what do we do?

As Darfur War Rages On, Disease and Hunger Kill

unfortunately, i don’t have a piano/keyboard here at our place since our neighbors would probably only complain about it and call it a cacophony istead of music. so when i go to SJ, i discipline myself to practice, to get back to my level of sightreading and adlibbing. if there is one thing i need to pass down to emma, it’s music theory. i’ve been able to appreciate music more because of it, and i hope one day emma will use it in her ministries.

there’s a lot of things that have come up for perze and me, and i’m really praying that God will make a way for us these next few months. as usual, there’s change involved and seemingly each year we go through this stage of faith. confidently, i can truly attest to the great demands life has led us to at the moment we met, and our stages allow me to visually map out year by year.

2002: we met
2003: we courted: his pending visa; his job contract was ending
2004: we were married: our application for his visa, my finishing college, we found out during thanksgiving that we were pregnant
2005: we were parents: we were approved for his immigration status; i graduated in a year, something that they said should have taken two years; we moved north; perze’s company was bought out and needed a new job now with new demands of the baby
2006: we’re a family: perze was offered a job at NYTimes

all this happened in four years. such responsibility in four years, but i guess i seemed fit to be ready, although if you told me all this when i was 23, my faith would have hesitated to believe. But i believe in prayer. i do. i believe that God blesses the lives of those who seek to do His will. It’s not always easy and life doesn’t just glide along. We’ve had our share of not knowing where we’ll be, how we’ll provide financially, and even how we’ll be together, but i believe in miracles because i’ve seen roads made where there were no outlets, triumphs out of impossiblities. Just have to be faithful and obey. God knows what’s best for you, even if sometimes it may not be what we want. Do what is right, God will bless your obedience.

I think i’ve come a long way from being that young girl who felt so lost because tomorrow never hinted at what it would bring. I’ve changed to allow God to have the bird’s eye view at life’s curves and corners. I can’t say i am always free from worry, but really, looking back at those things, looking back at the things i didn’t know i could ever handle, i feel very humbled. Now new things shift again and i have more of a welcoming attitude, knowing i have a lot of support, and i have a mighty God who knows my name personally and lovingly.

*look at my girl at the right….she is such and such the manifestation of that promise. she is a watermark.
143 anak…

I noticed this persons work from one of the stock photos that we have at the New York Times. I ended up googling the photographer since the photo was so compelling. Take a look at his portfolio, you’ll be amazed.

NATURPHOTO.de | The Nature Photography by Christian Ziegler

The World Cup is here, and the New York Times has a pretty good coverage with what’s going on. Check it out at www.nytimes.com/worldcup. Check out their interactive Flash App as well.

Soccer is not really my cup of tea, it’s probably 6th or 7th in my list. It’s one of those games where it just takes too long to score. 90 monites of regulation play and the score is 1-0. geez. This game is crazy though, you have to have agility and endurance …  lots of endurance to excel at this game. Brazil has been the favorite for quite sometime. I’m personally rooting for Japan (which happens to be in the same bracket with Brazil) and the United States. Two huge underdogs in this game. I think the Italians and the Germans have a shot at the cup. We’ll see in a couple of days.

Over the past couple of days I’ve been trying my hand at being a green thumb. Not in a garden but in my Treo 650. The gave is called Plant Tycoon by LDW software. The whole concept of the game is to breed plants until you get the 4 magic plants thats suposed to grow in the magic island of Isola. Simply said, this game is like a beefed up tamagotchi since it runs in real time and you hav eto test your Bene Gesserit Skills in breeding different types until you “stumble” upon the genetic formula for any of the 4 magic plants.

So far I was able to breed 2 of the magic plants. This game is driving me nuts.

They’re finally done to be mailed out and emailed!
Cick on any to enlarge:

i really don’t have much time to do what i want to get accomplished because i’m trying to balance the sanity of our place, constantly cleaning to keep it sanitized and in order. also, emma’s demands take 90% of my time, caring for her needs, playing with her, and teaching her new things.

i think after taking all those classes, about children education and the stages and levels of thinking even from infancy, have helped me to be a better teacher to emma. i’m not saying you need to take those classes in order to be a good mom, but in many ways, i’ve consciously learned how to apply many things so she can learn. the amazing part is when she just normally picks up things very quickly on her own, without my personal intention of teaching things to her. in those cases, everyone’s a teacher…

which is basically my point…we can’t help but learn from each other, some unconsciously, but nevertheless, people learn through our actions and we become accountable, and almost their validity.

i haven’t really thought about how my parents raised me to guard my reputation in front of those i know, relatives, friends, church…but now that i’m older, it’s not so much reputation i guard as much as i do my integrity. i want to be able to walk my talk…to live what i preach, and to learn to apply what i teach. and that’s a scary thing because i do hang out a lot with young people, and they know me to shout obedience, but i hope in the silence of it all, i am living out God’s will. i want my decisions in life and my actions to complement what i’ve supposedly read, what i’ve supposedly said…

because silently and audibly, i am a teacher…