There are times that I get wary of what the future holds. I used to be an optimist. I used to think that everything is going to be alright. But I know that I have changed. Even though I try not to show it but I worry too much. I worry of little things. I worry about bigger things.

maybe i’m just tired. sleeping 5 hours everyday is not really the most helpful thing. everyday during my commute I always end up with a headache. am I developing motion sickness? I keep telling people to have faith in God but i’m the one that worries too much to the point that I contradict myself.

I feel so far away from my first love. Your Word looks like a strange language to me that no matter how I try to read it but I don’t understand. Is this how it feels like to be forsaken?

Psalms 13:1-3

It’s been 44 months since I told her that I loved her and not a single day that passes by that I remind her and myself of it. It’s really different now that we have a daughter. We used to go out everytime we had a monthsary. I miss those days where we could just go out on a whim, drive to Sandy Cove, catch a movie, eat out and do whatever we wanted.

It has always been my fear that she gets bored of domesticity and she would just one day leave me because of it. She always tells me that I’m silly whenever I think of those things. Maybe I am silly, but a silly man can’t help but think of how he could make my wife happier today or any other day.

I love her with all that I have and am. I barely have an hour and at best two hours that I spend with her and my daughter on a weekday and as Pastor Chilton says, “That just ain’t cuttin’ it. You need time in order to build a happy marriage, and you need to spend it with your family.”

So starting today and the coming days, I hope you’ll see how much more I love you and Emma. Happy 4416 mahal.

For the longest time, I’ve been using AvantGo as my main Mobile Content Application. I really like what they’ve done with their recent upgrades especially when they give you the option in adding an RSS feed and on top of that, you can basically save up to 5 articles from that feed for later reading.

My one main gripe is the synchronization process. For the more experienced users out there, you know that if you have 20 or more channels saved in your profile, it takes literally forever to save the data. It does not only take forever but you’d have to have a 100% sync completion before you can read anything. Bottomline is that if you perform a wireless sync and you get interrupted at 99%, it’s as if you did 0%. now say that more calmly of there are over 1000+ pages you are trying to save. So annoying.

I must admit that I have my share of the problem. Since my Treo 650 has only 32 measly megabytes of storage, I rely on my 2GB SD card for most of my storage needs. Photos, videos, music, etc. That includes Avantgo synchronized files.

In this world where technology turnover happens on a split second, No! I will not be contented with slow download speeds, inefficient data transfers and very little flash storage. I want more, more, MORE!

taken at the mall. she was playing by herself. a wallflower.
isn’t she a beautiful flower?

HEADACHE … HEADACHE … HEADACHE

No correlation with this picture. I need a huge tylenol right now. waiting through trains is the worst kind of waiting. I gotta find better ways to amuse myself. While I’m on this train. Bored … bored … bored. Headache … headache … headache.

Vitals: 180.4 - 106/77 - 95

News:

• I finally received pictures of Isabel. She is very beautiful. She looks a lot more like Tom than my sister.
• Talked to Mark Almacen last night and basically laid out my vision regarding the core group that we talked about. We really have to get down on our knees with this one.
• They moved our stations again because the QA Lab wouldn’t fit with the new cubes they gave us. Installed everything after lunch. There seems to be an issue with the network connectivity of the workstations. I’ll check that out tomorrow when I get back.
• Mobile Team strategy meeting today. I still have no idea why I’m in it but this is a very good opportunity to be at a forefront of a hot technology that’s been looking for questions. I might just be able to provide a very good one.

Todays To Do List:

• Family Altar!!!

Todays Bible Reading: Psalms 6-10

my girl is so cute!!

so like 2 weeks or so ago, i taught her how to say “mama” when i ask her, “what’s my name?”  … although she knew how to say ‘mama’ since 4 months, i know that it’s just cuz she was practicing her vocal abilities. but i doubt she knew how to correlate the sounds to the actual person… but lately, she’s putting syllables to items, and now she knows my specific sound is ‘ma-ma’…

a couple days ago, i was so tired when we woke up, but she continued to try to play with me.  knowing that her endeavors to wake me up to play weren’t working, she became a bit quiet.  then after some time, she got up, tapped my chest, looked at me and slowly said, ‘ta-tay’…

just to make sure it was real, i asked her to say it again, and slowly, again, looking intently at me, she tries, “ta-tay”…immediately after her feat, she gave me a huge toothy smile to show that she just accomplished something big…hahaha… i was so proud of her, i sprung up in bed and kissed her…man, this girl gets me…

now she’s going on overkill mode by calling her ‘tatay’ all the time .

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18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 20 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, 21 so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. (duet.11)read the rest of the chapter. it’s still real today.