I learned a very simple yet important rule in web management today. To some it might just be a way to conserve the appearance to the page, make it look a little neat. In this world of SEO optimized web pages the basic currency is now your page views.

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(written oct 26) zem’s taking her first nap of the day, so i get some blogging time to write about her.

i love how affectionate and happy she is.  she just LOVES to play, and more importantly, she loves to play with you.  she’s all smiles and laughter when you give her your undivided attention.  i love how she can understand so much of what you say, what you want her to do or learn.  i never knew that babies within their first couple of years could attain such knowledge, but they really pick up language very quickly after their first year.  she can respond to multiple commands, questions, requests. 

sometimes, we’ll be together playing and we’ll stop and she would just look at me for a very quick while, and smile…and it’s then when i really wonder what she’s thinking of me. she’s never afraid of how i look, even when i’m disheveled, or make contorted faces that would scare myself and insecurities. she just shows love and genuine gratefulness for my attention.  sometimes, she’ll even hug me out of the blue and press her lips to kiss me…out of the blue, and it makes me wonder why she wanted to do that.

sometimes, before bedtime, she makes sure i’m near her, before she closes her eyes, silently asking me to not to leave.  and when her eyes are finally closed, right before she’s truly asleep, she holds my hand to assure my presence. 

sometimes, she’ll do something wrong, and as i stare at her with a stern face, she’ll try to avoid looking at me as if she’s ashamed.  during extreme times, she’ll cry for a little while, and then will always be the first to let down her pride and come up to me, hug me, kiss me, and put her head on my shoulder, as if to say her apologies.  really…she does that…babies are amazing. and once that hug is given, she’s back to smiling at me.  their forgiveness is amazing.

there’s too much for me to list, but i wanted to write it all down before she grows up and hardly wants to play with me, or wants to sleep in a separate room, or when it’s easier to be prideful, or when it’s harder to forgive me.

As I wrote on my previous blog about Paul & Joe, they eventually came to America…and of all places, to TARGET.

Of course, I was stunned, and ecstatic, and they have really given good clothes to the masses.  My favorite, of course, are their vintage pieces, like their wool items- the miniskirt and golden blazer.  Look at the lining of that blazer…ballerinas.

Then there are the bottoms, and like that owl icon, i had to play favorites with the skinny jeans that had the ever so popular owl stitching.  I think what makes the owl so popular is its vintage feel, and her skinny owl jeans are described Vintage Wash.  There are two owls in the back just making your bum wise.  I tired on the skinny jeans, and wow, they fit snugly, and look fabulous.  Then of course are the skirts, but my favorite is the mini owl denim.  They just look right.  I’m really in love with the owl denims.  The first pair of jeans are my favorite.  Can you believe that skirt went down to $6 on clearance?!  And the owl jeans, i’ve been selling on ebay, which goes as high as $48 selling sometimes. The pictures say it all.

And you complete it with the P&J Accessories: the wristlet, the brooch pin, and the giant tote bag (that’s selling for over $50 on ebay because it’s sold out and a hot item). Most of their stuff at target are sold out, and I’m not sure whether they’ll continue to work with them, but for now, looks like the merchandise is scarse.

the rain was absolutely exciting to hear tonite patter on the window.  emma looked out to see what was making all the noise. i told her it was jesus and he called it thunder.  she fell asleep to it and the rain ceased when she finally calmed herself to her bed.  we’re slowly introducing her to her own bed, which is adjacent to ours, for any need she may have requiring easy access to a warm mama or tatay.

the nights go by so quickly these days…i feel i’m always doing something, finishing something, thinking about something, planning something.  i’ve taken on a couple projects to occupy my time.  it feels odd that i should have emma playing alone, exhaustively stretching to get my attention, but i’m wondering if it’s beneficial for her to learn how to occupy herself at some times, as not to always be overly clingy, as she sometimes can be. 

i’m so amazed by her, the individual, the wholeness and completeness of her, who she is.  most people think babies are just babies, so innocent and naive…but when you have your own, you see things other people don’t see…who she is becoming.  the plus and minuses of her nature, where her interests are budding, if she will be loving…how she is thinking…these are the things that are yours to have as a parent if you look closely. 

sometimes i want to see the traces of how her face is changing, but i can’t.  all i know is that she’s changing without knowing the lines and paths where she has changed.  sometimes, as a mom, you just want to grid it and mathmatically capture the growth.  then there are times when you don’t care about the math and just love to look at this person that’s never existed before.