So we pray with Emma every night.  It’s been a routine since she’s learned how to say words.  I honestly wish I could video record each night, recording our conversations and esp. her prayers. 

Last night, after asking her to pray for baby Z, she said:

"Jesus, thank  you for baby Z, for Mamam and Tatay, and Emma to be healthy. 
And pink paper. And Mamam to get a hair cut because it’s messy.  In Jesus name, Amen."

This morning, I honestly had the craving to trim my hair and cut off the dead ends.  And that I did. 

God is good; all the time. hahahahaha

I still weigh 115. So far, after almost 3 months, I’ve gained only one pound. The lack of weight gain is mostly due to my lack of appetite.  I eat a little and feel full, or I plainly get turned off by eating meats.  Some nights, all I eat is cereal because it feels and tastes fresh. Sometimes I crave meals that don’t need to be cooked, like sandwiches, salads, breads, cereal, etc.

So what do the books say?

Suuuuuuposedly, the first trimester allows you to add 1 pound each month, so 3 pounds the first 3 months. But most women don’t even gain weight because of all the nausea.

My problem isn’t that I’m throwing up or dry heaving, but I do feel sick sometimes because of the odors around me.  I become like wolverine and each smell intensifies, esp. when food is around, or when food is being cooked.  Even thinking of cooked food makes me feel sick and I have to strongly control and suppress.

That’s us with Tita Sally, Perze’s second degree cousin who’s studying at the graduate school SIT in Vermont.  She recently arrived in the US in the beginning of the fall term so last weekend was the only open window for us to visit her.

It was actually a great weekend for us to visit because the weather permitted us to experience fall in Vermont.  We stayed in their graduate dorm building, which really allowed Emma to meet so many people.  During our stay there, she hardly wanted to stay with us in our room to rest; instead, she was hanging out with the dorm residents, talking and playing with them.  Imagine?  Without intimidation, she carved pumpkins with them, watched DVDs and even handed out Halloween treats by sharing her bag of packed m&m’s.  And every morning, she’d wake up early so she could play with the residents again and say hi to them as they passed by our room.  To her disappointment, weekend mornings mean sleep time for students.

Due to her hanging out, she learned more about carving pumpkins, and she had her first experience with pumpkin art.  We simultaneously learned how to open up the top of the pumpkin, scoop out the seeds, and carve out a face (with the help of a pattern and carving tools).

Speaking of pumpkins, that Saturday, we devoted our trip to attend their biggest Pumpkin Festival in NH.  Hundreds of people donated carved pumpkins and I’ve never seen so many orange orbs and people walking around in honor of Halloween.  In was in the center of this quaint town that had all these cute little stores and cafes.  People set up food booths, jewelry booths, crafts…etc.  It just felt poetic and exciting watching so many people.  People, I noticed were so nice too, giving allowance to Emma’s balloon that would hit them, or letting her in front of the line for her cotton candy.  Stuff like that…made me rethink the cultural attitude of NJ/NY.

The rest of the trip was great because of the rest and getting to know Ate Sally more- her studies and ministries.  She’s really someone to respect for her achievements in outreach.  It’s good to have conversation about ministry goals and open up questions to approach.  I appreciate that type of serious dialogue.

Overall, the four.five hour drive was worth it.  And Em had such a keen time meeting new people, making new friends, and acquainting herself with her Tita.  By the end of our trip, she wanted to stay there and carve more pumpkins.

To see our full album of our Vermont Trip, you can visit our Photo Gallery and click on the 2008 album.

So we’re 11 weeks and today was our first ultrasound for Baby Z.  We were super excited, and got up, prepared zem, and found the place.  The radiology center was impressive, esp. compared to my first pregnancy.  This one had a complete dressing room, like one you’d find in a spa, where you change into nice gowns, stored locker, and bathrooms.  My last pregnancy, no room, no robes; you were just in your own clothes while having the procedure. 

They even had a waiting room for Perze and Em, where they waited to be called into the ultrasound room to see Baby Z.  Their computers and screens weren’t even two years old and much clearer than the ones used for Em.

(Em on the left, Baby Z. on the right)

I was the first one to see Baby Z, and I couldn’t help but be such a sap about it.  For the record, I did tear a bit, and thanked God wholeheartedly for making such a miracle and for letting me be a mom again.  I couldn’t stop smiling every time I saw Baby.

Em was extremely excited to see Baby Z on the screen!  She even saw Baby kick inside me and thought it was so amusing.  (Afterwards, she even called her Lola Ruth and told her that Baby Z kicked inside me.)  The operator printed out two pictures for us and Em was so excited that she wouldn’t let go of the picture the whole time we were there.  It was so sweet to her her loving response and excited gestures.

But nope, too early to say the gender, but so far, everything looks great.

If you’re interested, we uploaded the pictures on the photo gallery, titled "Meeting Baby Z."

"23 Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. 24 Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ." Colossians 3:23-24

This verse has been in my head lately.

You know what verses precede these concluding verses of the chapter?  It goes like this:

"18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. 20 Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. 22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord."

Yep, they deal with authority.  Verses 23 and 24 seem as if they can generally be isolated in a lesson on stewardship, esp. in ministry, but in context, they’re connected to authority.  Verses 23-24 are so empowering, but 18-22 are quite sobering.

You know, one thing I love about our God is that yes, He is a God of freedom, despite opposing thoughts saying He is about rules and to do lists.  He wants freedom in our worship, in our lives, away from being bonded in our sin and addictive lifestyles that really prevent us from living a life of joy.  But along with that freedom, our God is also a God of order.  He allows position, authority, organization, and structure.

You see these characteristics in both the beauty and physics of this world- in the abstract and in the laws. Sometimes when we think about verses 23 and 24, we have that assurance that what we’re working for is essentially for our heavenly Master, but verses 18-22 remind us that we are responsible for serving others, and that God also places authority surrounding that service.

What would our army be without generals? Companies without CEOs or presidential positions?  Surely, we rely on a check and balance system, but imagine organizations without a leadership position to lead the vision?  Imagine a praise and worship team without a praise leader? And a pulpit without a pastor? A classroom without a teacher? Or a child without a parent?

God places people in authority in our lives, and for a specific reason.  I’m not talking about slaves to masters who are denied rights; I’m talking about serving under leadership for the good of the community, the church, the family, and for us.  Verses 23-24 promise us that our service to Him is ultimately for Him, but we cannot bypass the authority He has placed in our lives.  Whether we like it or not, we have to swallow our pride sometimes and submit to that authority, knowing that God has a bigger plan.  Maybe it’ll teach us to learn the beauty in discipline, values in leadership that will help us appreciate order AND humility, etc.

Many times in ministry, I want to break out and do everything differently.  I want the worship time prolonged until it’s enough.  I want to cut certain things out of the program and let spontaneity be more flexible.  I want to buy a lot of multimedia software that will enhance worship…so on and so forth.  I would want to do all that for God…but doing everything I want to do really shows how much, or how less, I’m thinking about other people around me, esp. the leadership of the church. 

Sometimes, trusting the authority in my life shows that I trust God in placing those people in my life.  Someday, maybe those ministry goals will be fulfilled, but meanwhile I have to trust God and just be responsible in my ministries that He’s personally called me for. 

I know it’s tough to swallow, but this reminds me all the time that I’m not always going to like what’s given to me in ministry.  I know people are going to complain, critique, disagree with me, or say I have bad hair.  But I’ve learned through the years that leadership is not a feeling; it’s a commitment, and it’s a walk through refining fires.  Leadership also acknowledges that there are leaders above you, and they answer to someone bigger as well, but we have to work together, despite hurts, despite issues.  Ultimately, we’re serving and blessing God. 

Last sunday was my Nanay’s 56th birthday. I remember stories of her walking 6 kilometers just to get to school. She was in elementary when she would walk really early in the morning so that they can get to class two hours later. Going home was even worse because unlike the early trip, you travel when it was dark and get to school when the sun was up, this time you walk through bamboo thickets and every step you take brings you closer to a more darker place. Streetlights weren’t popular back then and torches were out of their budget.

She’s come a long way from walking to school. She still walks to get to work mind you but now she has a Ph.D. in Mathematics and is the Vice Chancellor for Academic Affairs in one of the most prestigious universities in the Philippines.

Please pray for her because there has been rumors of certain persons in “power” at the university that have been included in a list of the next people to be kidnapped. The President of the University has implemented some security measures as a response to the declared threat which I can’t detail in this post.

Nevertheless, she has her temporary protection but as she told me, Her hope and protection is in the Lord. I have seen this notion personally, growing up in a place that has always been in a state of flux due to religious and cultural challenges, the notion of your faith being challenged by the people around you (sounds familiar?).

All I wish for her birthday and everyday is her safety, health, happiness and that one day I would come home and catch my kids playing with their grandparents. We embrace you in prayer Nanay, we love you very much.

Babies
So yes, we are pregnant and yes it was planned. We had the chance to visit the OB-GYN today and found out that our bundle of joy 2.0 is now on its tenth gestational week. So as of today the baby is 3 inches long and is probably happily floating inside her mama’s uterus, causing mayhem on marchesa’s olfactory and somatic systems. After going to the OB, Emma and I got dropped off because marchesa needed to have her similitude imprinted onto plastic courtesy of the NJ DMV (i know you want to look that word up, go ahead, this blog post will still be here by the time you come back).

Papers
While the wifey was gone, I had to work from home and deal with my ever present blogs related issues. Well, the two week headache has finally been resolved, the other one will never ever be resolved and the week old headache .. we’ll see by tomorrow.

With all that work stuff going on, emma was in the other room making paper crafts, painting, origami, using all of marchesa’s sticker collection and watching noggin all at once. from time to time she would go to my makeshift office to ask for my opinion on her latest work of art or asking me to wipe her bum because she did either number 1 or 2. she is very independent now and very manipulative. this paragraph just doesn’t do justice.

Brakes
Over the weekend, I found out that the brakes on the outlander are now almost paper thin and almost shelled out 500 ducks to have both front and rear brakes fixed. good thing i trusted my instinct to call my wife before giving a greenlight on the said transaction. toto adviced me to shop around and there were shops that were 30% cheaper. sunday came and got to talk to the resident mechanic at the church and showed him what was going on and he offered to fix it himself as long as i buy the parts, total cost is 60% off the initial quote and that includes the parts and everything.

Cousins
A couple weeks ago I received an e-mail that my cousin Sally just arrived in Brattleboro, VT to pursue her masters in urban development. We’ve been planning to visit her but we’ve had the busiest summer ever, from weddings to anniversaries to birthdays and what-not, there was never a dull moment this summer. We’ve finally decided to visit her this coming weekend but we are going through a lot of hurdles and the plan is still up in the air as of now because of accommodation related reasons and responsibilities that we can’t seem to get away from. Apparently, Inns and Hotels within a 25 mile radius of Brattleboro are booked to the brim.

Bats
Not to be confused by the heading, the Bations just left for the Philippines. Their family has really made an impact on SJBCI in the past 5 or so years that they have been with the church. Pretty large shoes to fill considering that we now need 5 or so people just to fill the family’s role in various ministries of the church. Yesterday seemed a mirage considering the fact that next sunday they won’t be there anymore. We just have to move forward, God does these things for a reason and we grow from these things. We wish them well wherever they end up and look forward to their return. If you know them, please continue to pray for Kuya Dolly’s healing.

With the Bation’s gone, my involvement with the worship ministry will now be ramped up, Good thing we have K. Cliff, Ate Agnes and Jaspher we now have a good rotation and ample preparation time before your next rotation comes in.

I’ll need to expound on all these things, this is just a quick update since its been a while since i’ve blogged.