Today, my five year old, Emma did a little naughty act of biting her crown pendant, thus deforming an innocent prong on her beloved Tiffany’s charm.  Having caught her in the act, I calmly took it from her and told her she lost her privilege of wearing it.  Then you could see in her face, the swelling of emotion floodgates trying to hold in the tears, until they spewed out, down to her chin, as she mumbled sincere apologies.  I explained that this wasn’t an isolated instance, but that it was to be added to the perpetual acts when she had not taken care of it.  That led to a very difficult task of closing the watery floodgates of her tears. 

Determined to be immovable with my decision, I walked with her and Zienne as we window shopped.  Emma remained very unusually quiet, seemingly surrendered to my conditions.  Minutes passed as we finally made a stop in some store, and as I was sliding hangers one by one, she raised her voice from mute mode and asked, “Mamam, am I still a child of the King?”

It surprised me.

It humbled me.

So I said, “Emma, you will ALWAYS be a child of the King.”

Ambivalently, with both remorse and relief, she held back her tears, and almost stumbled on her response, “thank you, mamam.”  After that, she felt so more at ease, as if the assurance was also forgiveness.

Romans 8:14-17 explains, “14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.”

Thinking back at such a simple question, I’m wracked with how enormous that reality can be, to be a child of the King.  No matter the precious a gift has been given to us, tangible blessings from the Father, treasures of great worth that we end up toying with, whether with indifference or irresponsibility, we can hand it to Him, deformed or destroyed, and He still will call us His.  The relationship of child and Father, yes, is a great deal of messiness, because we, as sinners, are messy; we can take the beautiful and the sacred, and profane them.  But the same relationship offers us an openness with our Father, one that allows us the freedom to cry out to Him. 

And yes, God has given His ultimate precious gift to the world, His Son, Jesus, because the sin of man needed a blameless sacrifice.  He was deformed and even suffered and died, but never destroyed.  And with His resurrection, to all who believe Him as their savior and Lord, living a life that reflects our spoken devotion, we enter into that familial relationship with Him. And despite our perpetual acts of disobedience, bouts of pride, innumerable shameful perverseness, possessive habits of sin, grace abounds and forgiveness is intertwined, without lines, within His love.  We can give Him the beauty He has given us, deformed by our careless hearts and hands, and He will still call us His.  This does not give us authority to abuse His grace, because He pierces through each heart for the truth in the relationship.  But once a child of the King, what can truly sever that exceptional bond?  For it says, “neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38:39).

Sometimes, we hold on to those deformities for so long, wrapped tightly in our guilt, feeling as if it weighs down our worth to walk with the Lord again.  But if you are led by the Spirit of God, you are a child of God. And you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom you can cry out, ‘Abba, Father’ (Rom.8:14-15).  We have the freedom to cry out to God and call Him Father. Renew your relationship with Him.  You will always be a child of the King!

Thank You Lord!

When Zienne woke up, she smiled at me and said, “Mamam”
I smiled and said, “Hi”
She smiled and said, “Hi”

Then she put her face up to mine and kissed me.
Everything in me lit up and I said, “Wow!”

Then she said, “Wow!’

Looking back, we were very fortunate to have had GREAT weather, esp. since the forecast was supposedly rain.  Thank the Lord the clouds pushed down and didn’t touch our area.  Instead, it was a sunny day in its high 80s, sunny enough for mingling and running outside.  We rented a big canopy which was enough to cover the six tables and some walking room.  We also rented a moonbounce, like we did at Emma’s first bday.  Everyone enjoyed it, mostly the kids, and even the grown up kids, including my sisters and I, my friends from college, and some courageous few.  There should always be room in one’s life to jump.

I think the scariest part was the slide. Why is it that as you get older, the slide gets scarier?

I was telling some friends that although a lot of my close friends couldn’t come, I was REALLY excited to know that people who I wasn’t extremely close with were coming because it DID allow me a chance to get to know those people MORE.  It was an opportunity to become closer friends to good friends, and good friends from those I didn’t really know.  Towards the end, I was able to have some really choice conversations with people I wasn’t too acquainted with, like the guys who are doing missions in our church this summer, or some of my old college friends who I haven’t had the chance to converse with over the years.  YA, that day, I gained an appreciation to expand my conversation circle of familiarity, and hopefully will continue to foster from now on.  God definitely has a purpose for everything.

The girls REALLY enjoyed their day.  That was the important thing.  I made sure, despite the busyness of the day, I made time to laugh and hug Emma, to encourage her play without too many restrictions.  I also made sure I made some quiet time walking around with Zi, talking with her about our surroundings, because at this stage, she’s not keen on crowds.  At the end of the day, Emma was telling me stories about her friends, about her play, and Zi was still excited to finish her day by opening the plethora of gifts.  My heart was full because I knew Em would remember it.

The only thing missing was that Perze’s side of the family was not there.  I am always so saddened over this reality and sacrifice.  But we NEVER go through a milestone without them.  They are always at the forefront of our thoughts during these times and are just as appreciative with their support and every present love and prayers for us and the girls.  Thank you Nay and Tatay, and the rest!

Additionally, we are extremely grateful for my side of the family who always help out, not just at these big parties, but in the everyday.  My parents always make sacrifices for them as well, and really continue to show endless love.  Thank you Ma and Pa, and of course Ate, Kuya Sam, Kris, and even Tito who was far away, but who had cake ordered for the girls to blow out their candles.

I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves, depicting all the activities and games we played, decorations, and giveaways.  They’re all in the photo gallery under One Plus Five Equals Six.

Thank you Lord most of all, most of all, most of all, Jesus, for loving our girls.  Every year, we wish them You, to grow in You.  We praise you every day for the breath you give them.  They are an immense joy to us and to those around them.

I was also able to put in some additions to their individual yearly albums.

It’s so difficult keeping our archives updated, but I always feel guilty if I don’t.  I always feel like something will happen and I’ll regret having done tedious work, knowing somehow, in the distant future, I’ll be glad I did it. 

I was also able to finally upload ALL my photos from my iPhone to our Flickr site. I had over two thousand photos. man o man.

The red book is entitled, “The Christian Athiest” which deals with issues Christians face in their faith, almost categorizing their behavior as those who do not believe in God, yet professes Christianity.  I jumped to the chapter “I believe in God, but I don’t believe in the church.”  I believe the best line that best summarizes all its pages is the idea that we should not merely “go” to church, but we should better “be” the church!  It was a simple yet amazing statement that he expounded on, claiming that if we only were truly God’s hands and feet, instead of complaining what ought to be done, we could fulfill what the church in the book of Acts accomplished.  The greatest tragedy in our churches today is the skewed perspective that we get OUR needs met first, or the church is an obligatory ritual that supports the definition of our faith.  But if we came to church to truly LOVE God and LOVE those we can minister to in the church, it fulfills God’s greatest two commandments which cover all.  It would truly be an exciting idea to have a mobilized church for God’s glory, and not our own, not fulfill our criteria of feeling better, feeling whole, which ironically is never satiated unless we go to church to wait on God, to serve Him, and to go to church for God and not for us.

I’ll write more about Ravi’s book and how these two books relate some other time…when I have some quiet time.  But I wish there was an avenue to discuss books like these, books that challenge the christian life.

So proud of her. Just the same age as when Emma started blessing.

It seems a bit surreal that we’ve been married that long already, with only 4 years to go until our 10th year anniversary.  Compared to veterans of marriage, six doesn’t seem that long, but it does to a young couple.  I married when I was 25, and it was the best choice I remember making.

Two days before the 19th, Perze came to the room, admitting how bad he was at surprises and how he couldn’t wait to give me his present.  Already I was surprised because we had promised that we weren’t going to get anything for each other and spend on the girls for their One and Five .  After promising to close my eyes, I had already had a strong premonition that I knew what he bought me.  I don’t know why, and I hadn’t stressed it, or hinted to get it for me, but for some reason, when he put the box in my hands, I instantly knew. 

I saw the MKors watch a month ago after a shopping trip with Michelle.  I instantly fell in love with it, since I’ve been looking for a white watch, although not that expensive.  That’s why after I saw it, I erased it from my wish list, because the price was definitely a deal breaker.  It ended up being the most expensive watch in the MKors line. But  Perze, with the help of Michelle, who helped him with some price tips, never looked back and picked the perfect watch for me, and having successfully persuaded me to keep the thoughtful gift.

Now, I’m glad I kept it. Every time I look at it, I smile, knowing that sometimes, I know we can’t afford everything we want, but somehow, sometimes, my husband finds a way to give me a gift I would never expect.  He knows he can steal my heart over a book, a dress, flowers, or a well written love letter… but this time, I’m humbled with an unexpected splurge, one he took time to be sneaky with…and it was perfect.

I can’t find a picture of me wearing it, but after the girls’ party, I found one picture, although blurry, of me wearing my watch. (I know…I’m a nerd for taking a picture of it, but I really love this watch, and I haven’t had a decent watch since I graduated college.  To tell time, I’m always looking at my phone.)

We spent our anniversary day with family and friends, at our One Plus Five Equals Six Party.  So yes, we spent it celebrating our girls, having planned it perfectly that way, cost efficiently…hahahah 

To my beloved husband:

Happy 6th year, mahal.  When I met you, I never knew you’d make me laugh as much as we do now.  I never knew I could never live without someone.  I always thought I could emotionally stand independently.  I never knew the benefits of having another family other my own. But in six years, I have built my humor around yours.  I can never imagine living without you.  I am relieved my emotions have a place in you to confide.  And I’m blessed to be part of anther family to love me. 

Most of all, in these six years, I can’t get over how handsome you still are.  I am amazed with how much a man could love a woman, esp. a woman like me. I am thankful that you can lead our family, provide for our growing household, prioritize your work with family and ministry, and still laugh at the end of the day with me.  I love you, going on seven.